Having issues

Today has not been the best of days. I am trying hard to rely on God when I feel things out of my control and today was a test. A major test.

Billie just started back to work yesterday after 2 months. His little disability check is just not getting it done. I can't pay bills and buy gas and food. It is the middle of the month and I haven't paid a bill. Well, I paid the preschool bill. That's it. I am scared that things are going to get shut off. I figured maybe I could ask Eric to help out a little. I know he is a little broke due to starting college but I was hoping he could still at least pay the satellite bill. Well, that is now over!

Eric had a car accident today. He totaled his car. He had let his insurance lapse while he was paying for all his college dues and books. He was suppose to start college tomorrow. It still just amazes me how life can change in an instant. He was supposed to start his life over again and now he has had to drop out of college and start looking for a full time job to cover the cost of this accident. It just isn't fair! He didn't deserve this!

As I have struggled through everything today, I have just kept praying. Praying for answers. Praying for absolution. Praying for help. It is days like this which test my faith and test my trust. I get so upset when I see other people around me and things are going great for them but we have to struggle all of the time. I know this is a learning experience for me and my family. We will learn something from all of this and come out better people. I just wish we didn't have to struggle all of the time.

My brother and sister in law seem to have it all. They even won a cruise over Christmas! He said he had to win it for her because it is what she deserves. They just seem to never have to worry like we do. I feel very beneath them.

God will take care of all of this. He will take care of Eric and he will take care of our bills. This is a test and I am trying very hard to pass it. We just have to make it a couple more weeks then I can get everything back to normal.