Going Public!!

So I have been debating for some time now whether or not to post a link to this blog. I mean, it is me, on display for everyone to see! I don't like to be open. I am a very private person. I started this blog as a way to try to fix things in my life that needed a little tweaking.

After some prayer I have decided to open my thoughts up to the public. I know that the majority of people who read this won't like it. I am not a skilled writer. Sometimes I babble. Sometimes I don't make any sense. By hey, that is me! Maybe by sharing my thoughts, this change I so desperately need can begin. I need to let people see me, like me or not!

I have been dealing with a feeling of failure this week. The first casualty of Billie's back surgery will happen today. We will lose internet service sometime today. I tried so hard to stay on top of my bills while he was out of work but this one had to fall by the wayside. As the last couple of months have been very stressful for my family, I tried to keep things as normal as possible for the kids, I paid what I could and unfortunately the phone/internet bill was at the bottom of the list. It isn't a necessity, so to speak. We can live without it. I just don't want to. It is my line to the outside world. I talk more to people online then in real life. I feel like a part of a community online where I feel like an outsider in the real world. Maybe I am too dependant on it and that is why I have to lose it for a little while. I need to learn to connect to the real world.

So here it is! Love me or leave me, this is me. Keep in mind I am still very new to all this blogging stuff so don't be too critical. I am just trying to be real. I don't talk about anything important, just my life. So, I hope you enjoy my heart and I will try to keep up with it (someway, while the internet is down!