Season of Change

Uh oh! I think I am going to get deep! Watch out! I have been thinking about this post all day. I finally came to a big realization today. I realized I was in a season transition. Something I haven't had to do in a long, long time. It scared me. I am now trying to figure out what kind of new season God has in store for me.

I was sitting in my MOPS steering team meeting this morning planning our big "Tea and Testimony " meeting. I just kind of sat back and took in all that was going on around me. It is going to be a great meeting with strong spiritual meanings and they did an incredible job planning it. I was silent, for the most part. I think reality started to hit me, my MOPS days are drawing to a close, fast. I got really sad. My MOPS group has been such a blessing in my life! It helped me overcome my incredible shyness. I have been on the steering team for two years and have learned so much. It all comes to an end in May. I will no longer have preschoolers so I will not be in MOPS anymore. It weighed heavily on my heart for most of the day.

I started praying. I wanted this sadness to go away. I have been dealing with a lot of emotion lately and I just want to be happy again. It has been quite a while. I asked God to please help me figure out why this was all going on. Why did I feel the way I feel? Why was this sadness seem to be overtaking me. I sat back this afternoon and I got my answer. I am transitioning into a new season in my life.

I have been in this season of life for 12 years now. For the past 12 years I have had a constant young child to take care of. I have had a child who needed my constant attention. I had a child who needed me. Starting next fall, all 4 of my kids will be in school. For the first time in 12 years, I will be stepping out into a new season of life. It is scary! What is my new season? What does God have purposed for me? Taking this new step is very scary. I don't handle change well. I handled my fear of change with sadness. I got woe some. Poor me. Pathetic!

I have been saying "it's not my season" for years. I think it became my number one dodger! My kids needed me so I would be there. No questions asked. Now they are all stepping out in new parts of their lives and I am going to be on the outside. Wow! Kind of losing my place in this world (or so it seems)..

I know God has a plan for me. It is just hard to see right now. I feel kind of lost in transition. What does my new season hold for me? A job? A hobby? Anything new? All I can see right now is my kids are growing up way too fast and I am losing my support group! I need to look at this more positively I guess. I get to experience new and exciting change! Things are going to be different but it could be an adventure! Who knows what exciting things are out there for me to discover! A new season, a new me.